I hear you and am sorry that my words have knocked your internal world so badly – that certainly wasn’t my intention.
It is very hard when we rely on a fantasy to feel safe and then something happens that alters it. Don’t panic – I haven’t changed but the fantasy has. It’s incredibly important that we can talk about the fantasies as they help us to better understand you. It’s absolutely ok to do that. The way therapy is set up means that we can react to things in a way we wouldn’t normally do; therapy amplifies feelings, just as you have described. Its painful I know, but also allows us to get hold of, and work with them. We will do that together.
I’m very glad you have been able to tell me how you feel. Because the safe fantasy has been knocked, doesn’t mean I don’t understand what you have been through/are going through – try to hold onto that.
I am still here and am thinking of you.