We shouldn’t feel guilty for pulling away

I have just been reading some stuff about childhood emotional neglect and about the long-term effects of a lack of attachment with a caregiver etc and came across this sentence:

Estranging yourself from (or neglecting) your children rarely goes unpunished.  They sometimes kick back and make their parents pay!

Now, I’m not advocating acting out anger in a destructive way – NOR am I saying that we should do things in order to “punish” our parents, in fact I am a firm believer that when we have healed (at least party) our reactions should be about protecting ourselves rather than punishing our parents, BUTTTTTTT I just wanted to relay this sentence here for anyone struggling to deal with guilt.

I am a sucker for the guilt attacks and often fall into a horrible shame cycle for how I am treating my “poor mother” – and this sentence really helped me to put it into perspective.  No act goes unpunished.  If we were neglected or abused then honestly what do they expect? Loyalty and love despite them not having given us any? We were innocent children who genuinely NEEDED things from them for our survival and they are adults who can look after themselves.

The only person/people we deserve to honour, love and respect are ourselves.

YAAASSSS!!

2 thoughts on “We shouldn’t feel guilty for pulling away

  1. The anger and “kicking back” are totally natural reactions to the hurt children experience. Of course in the long run we all want to be peaceful, forgiving, or whatever… but that’s kind of an aspiration. We don’t need to apologize for not being angels, for being real human beings with normal human reactions.

    And ESPECIALLY after we’ve been poorly parented, it is a triumph to learn to support and respect our own honest feelings!

    Liked by 2 people

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