Firstly, thank you all so much for all your help and advice the last few days with my rupture with T and with this job stuff. I don’t remember the last time I felt this stressed out and emotionally exhausted. It’s proving so tiring!
So thank you all – I’m truly really grateful.
Here’s the latest instalment of my mental life.
I didn’t sleep a wink last night. I felt unwell (cold), my head was racing and I was desperate to make a conclusion with regards to this job. Yesterday didn’t go to plan and I didn’t leave feeling positive or happy at all. I felt dissapointed and deflated.
Throughout the night I kept thinking perhaps I should just stay in my current job. Perhaps I had had a lucky escape. It made me think I would never get a boss like mine again. Then my fiancé gave me a good talking to this morning and said that regardless of whether I go to this job or not, nothing has changed with regards to leaving my current job. He said he thought I would regret it if I didn’t leave now. I suspected he was right. He pointed out that there aren’t just two choices here, current job or new job… I could keep interviewing. I didn’t like the thought of that and guess I was being a bit lazy wanting the whole process to be over.
A few hours later I’m walking around the park with my mate and her little boy when the phone rings, it was an agency so I ignored his call. He then emailed me to say the job he had sent my cv to three weeks ago had called and wanted to see me. For background, this firm are VERY well known. They are in the top 10 law firms in the entire world!
I applied there 6/7 years ago and had two interviews but was eventually unsuccessful. Apparently they “went with someone internally”.
But now I know someone that works there who said she loves it and that she thinks I would too, she said she would put in a good word for me. Clearly she did!
They want me to go in for an interview Tuesday at 3pm next week. AGGHHH!!!!
The agent said that he’s made them aware I’ve accepted another job offer and that they still wanted to see me.
So.. I have decided to go for it. 1) because yesterday didn’t go to plan and 2) because it’s an amazing firm.
The two jobs are different, for this job I would work in a “pool” where I would work with 6 girls at my level, 3 girls a level below and 1 girl a level lower again. Between us all we would work for the entire department (employment which is something different). I wouldn’t have my own allocated solicitors like at my current job or like the new job I went to yesterday.
Anyway, my latest predicament is this: when do I tell the agency I want to retract my acceptance of the job? Do I get it out the way and do it tomorrow so I feel less guilty? Or do I wait and see how this interview goes next week?
My fiancé says wait, and his reasons are that 1) this is business, don’t worry about them and 2) the agent for the new interview job told me that the agent (scary woman) is known to cause trouble and could potentially ruin my interview next week if she has contacts there.
I admit I feel guilty at the thought of letting them down if I decline their offer, I feel nervous about telling the scary woman agent I’ve changed my mind, because she is feisty as hell and will lose her commission so will hate me and make my life difficult… but I admit to feeling some weird relief that I won’t have to worry about that woman boss and how she will be with me if I go there. Rightly or wrongly.
So, that’s today’s drama. Also, I saw T today which I was absolutely dreadinggggggg but I am pleased to say that she was fine. She actually apologised and we’ve smoothed things over, that deserves its own post though so I’ll write that tomorrow when I have my laptop out.
Time for more lemsip!