Read previous blog first or this won’t make any sense
I’ve never felt anger towards my T before. Never. Not consciously anyway.
Until just now.
I emailed her to tell her how upset I am and why. I even put in quotes the sentence about wishing I could sit on her lap for longer etc.
She replied just now, it’s a very kind and gentle reply but she didn’t understand. She said how tough it is for me that my child part didn’t get tended to today because I only ever take my adult self on a Thursday. But that isn’t the problem!
I know this probably doesn’t seem like a big deal to people but I felt so hurt and upset and disappointed and (I can’t believe it but..) angry!
I burst into tears and said out loud “no, no!!!”.
Now I wish I hadn’t told her! Now it’s worse.
I replied quite bluntly (another first!) and said it wasn’t about that. It was the break stuff. I don’t think she will reply because I kinda closed the convo down but maybe if she picked up on some anger somehow that would help? But why would she pick up on anger – I didn’t tell her I was angry. Clearly she’s not a mind-reader!
Oh also. What’s with fucking kind wishes or best wishes or whatever – why does that feel so horribly cold and professional?!