Random thought…
When you’ve been neglected or abused as a child, how do you turn into a gentle, caring, kind and loving individual?
Like how does that happen? Where do you learn it from? If it isn’t modelled to you from your caregivers like it’s supposed to be?
Recently both T and my boyfriend have asked me how I’ve turned out the way I am. Growing up my (on/off) father used to say “it’s a wonder you’ve turned out so normal” meaning given my background – this actually frustrates the hell out of me right now but I’m not going to speak about that now.
What do people think? How have you turned out kind and loving without parents that treated you like that?
I’m wondering, is it that I’m doing for others what I wished I had done to me? Is it the hurt inner child giving me ideas?
Intrigued…..
Therapy Diaries 
I had a loving sister. Also teachers who treated me with respect. Credit should also go to Caspar, the Friendly Ghost cartoon! I also think my faith and belief and study of Jesus affected me in a positive way. Though my faith is minimal at this time I still want to live according to how kind Jesus was during his life.
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Ahh thank you for this. Caspar the friendly ghost was awesome!!! Dx
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I wouldn’t describe myself as kind but with strict parents, I grew up knowing that I should respect others.
I was once asked in a therapy session if I love my parents. “I don’t know”, was my answer. I didn’t think I knew what love was until my nephews were born. The eldest is 3 and he is very loving. He is teaching what love is and what children really need. My sister in law was brought up in a loving home so she is doing what comes naturally. My brother is an amazing father.
Some of it will be nature and some nurture. I definitely care about others because I would never want someone to feel like I have.
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I think we innately know how to love. It might get twisted up because of our upbringing and the messages we received but love is a natural state.
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