Mind, body & soul

I was sent a photo of me bowling yesterday and it’s horrific. I look so fat! I know this sounds weird but although I don’t see myself as skinny (not at all), I didn’t think of myself as particularly chunky either. Well, photos don’t lie and now I’m in shock. 

I admit for the last… actually I don’t know how long, I’ve been eating whenever and whatever I want. This has consisted in take aways after particularly bad days at work and drinking wine/snacking on chocolate and crisps etc. 

I’ve been emotionally eating. Comfort eating for sure. 

I’ve also not been able to sleep this weekend, Saturday night was bad and last night even worse. 

I feel tired even though I’m probably still getting enough sleep and I’ve decided I need to do something about this. 

My gym classes have slipped, I thought I was giving myself a break but I think maybe the exercise would have done me good both physically and mentally. 

Today is a new day and all. I think that my mind and body are really going through it at the moment. All this understanding and deeper level of acceptance that my mother has npd is taking its toll on me in both ways. 

I nearly asked for a day’s leave from work today to sleep and be alone but decided I would only spend the day upset and perhaps the distraction would do me good. I’ll probably regret that later but hey. I can’t keep taking time off work when things get hard, I’ll have no holiday left. 

She has done enough damage already. She can’t keep doing this. My mental health has taken a battering and now my sleep and my body? Enough! 

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8 thoughts on “Mind, body & soul

  1. I struggle a lot with exercising regularly as well and am quite unfit. One thing I have found helpful was putting all my effort initially into just going to the class and developing the habit of going, and not putting any pressure on myself to exercise hard once I’m there if I don’t feel like it. Some days I just go through the motions. It’s a lot easier to get away with this in the aqua fitness classes I’m doing because there are lots of people who are older and even less fit than me, plus if you’re not right in front of the instructor they can’t really tell if you’re slacking off under the water (double bonus is that no-one can see your fat wobble). I wouldn’t say that I’m actually fitter, but the increased exercise does seem to have had a positive effect on my overall energy level, quality of sleep and mood. I’d definitely say try going a bit more and see if it improves how you’re feeling, even if does nothing for your weight.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh this made me laugh! Good for you. I used to go spin 3/4 times a week as well as yoga. These days I seem to only do one spin class and maybe one yoga class (although I haven’t been Now since the Saturday before last). I need to go and keep going. We can do it!! Xx

      Liked by 1 person

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