Wow today I’m not in a good mood. My boyfriend proper copped a meltdown this morning. Now I have faceache like you wouldn’t imagine and I’m very tired.
So we had a very rare Saturday morning without the kids, I had hoped that we might have a nice lay in, some tea in bed, some chats… you know, some loving? But the reality was that we had tea whilst my boyfriend played on his phone for an hour & then wanted to get up and get showered.
I told him I really wanted to cuddle up and relax but he brushed it off saying we had been for an hour already – err no, we haven’t.
Anyway I then ended up crying and venting about how I felt he never wants to cuddle or kiss me, how he doesn’t seem to want to be intimate with me and all sorts of other things. I then went and had a shower myself.
We then had about an hour talking about it all (I cried throughout) and I told him I felt rejected. I said he’s always saying he loves me but he doesn’t show it. That actions are louder than words…. he kept saying he did love me and he didn’t mean to be shit.
We went food shopping – boring as you can imagine.
We’re now home and I am angry. Really angry. I don’t even know why. I’ve just unpacked the shopping and hoovered and stuff, he came and put his head on my lap (hard and it hurt!) so I told him to get off. He’s sloped back off huffing and puffing and I’m now crying again because I feel so horrible.
Oh I hate this. I hate the mood I’m in. I hate that I’m crying and get angry at the same time. I hate that it all feels shit and I hate that I’m pushing him off me when I should be doing the opposite.
Wanky shit fucks.