Feeling unwell before session 

I woke up feeling sick this morning, I had a bad tummy and woke up well before my alarm. As I posted earlier I linked this so my session tonight (rightly or wrongly). 

It’s now 6pm and I’ve had an upset stomach all day. It feels like it’s in knots and all weird… 

I’ve just got on the train home and the sick feeling came back and I feel panic and like I could cry. I also have the feeling I don’t want to drive and I don’t want to go. 
Has anyone else had this before?? What is it? I’ve never felt like this about going therapy before in nearly 3 years! 

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23 thoughts on “Feeling unwell before session 

  1. Yes I have! Usually anxiety and vulnerability. I nearly actually asked them to stop the train once. 😬 Don’t you have IBS? It’s probably the stress upsetting your stomach. Try to breathe but definitely go to your session. Explain to your T when you get there too. You might feel calmer once you see her. I hope you feel better soon and the session goes well x

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    1. I used to have IBS but it seems so much better these days (well, it did!!) its barely been a problem for the last year I guess. I got home and ended up crying my eyes out on my lovely boyfriend. I said I don’t know why, and that is true – I know it’s therapy related somehow but I don’t know exactly what’s causing this. I am going to have to tell T I know, but she is going to ask me what I’m worried about and I’m going to say I don’t know… how ridiculous!! X

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  2. not ridiculous. makes sense to me. maybe you have something stirring in the back of your mind that you cannot let yourself know until you spill it in the safe setting with your T. I have had anxiety attacks before therapy that I couldn’t describe. When that happens to me I usually also cant remember what I said in session. If you may wonder about remembering, maybe record your session so you can remember what you say. This may be just a me thing, i dont mean to read my stuff into yours, i just thought that recording your session can help you later remember if that was an issue. Sometimes I think part of my fears before sessions is that I wont remember what happened during them. good luck. you will figure it out. definitely scary before though. take care. -Lora

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    1. Hi Lora! I’ve actually wanted to record before but T said we needed to think and talk about it… we haven’t ever really got an answer but she said I remember things very well and that she wondered why I needed it recorded because she was worried I could get a bit obsessed with playing it back (certainly a character trait that would match me lol!!)

      Anyway, thank you for saying you understood how I was feeling that helped to read. I’ve just got home and it was a pretty hard session and I cried a fair bit. T said she thinks it’s anger and sadness, she thinks it’s about the break as well as all the stuff with my mother. I cried a fair bit and feel much better right now than I did when I went in – although the standard tired and drained feeling. I am sure I’ll sleep well. I know I have one more session Thursday and then the break so I’m not looking forward to Thursday!!! Agh XX

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      1. IDK if your T would go for this but since she will be gone for a while maybe her recording something for you to listen to while she’s gone?? IDK if you have little parts (we all do really, but I mean DID little parts) maybe taking a book with you and a recorder, an app my phone works for us, but if she was willing to read it out loud and you record it, it could be something that helps you feel connected while she’s away. I have long-winded comments, im sorry. lol. Maybe for this one reason this one time only?? just a thought. separation anxiety feels bad. take care of yourself.

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      2. No I love your comments! Longer the better. I don’t have DID parts but I am very in touch with my inner child etc, that’s not a bad idea. I need something I think… an object or a recording or a note xx

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      3. I agree. Something. a note would be good. Her voice on a recording would be better. Her not going would be best, but that’s not gonna happen. I took a pic of our T holding a fuzzy animal we have and recorded him reading “Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day!” That is an awesome book and relatively short. And fun to read. Maybe if you have them with you when you walk in and tell her this is what you need, she can see it for the truth in it. IDK. or maybe she can call and leave a mssg on your phone you can keep. that may work some too. all of the above?? lol. i dont know what i would feel like if Dr. T went anywhere I couldn’t reach him. that would be a hard thing to get through. i feel for you.

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      4. This is all very helpful and great ideas, thank you so much!!! It is my last session tomorrow so I might have to email her today because otherwise I will arrive tomorrow and suddenly it might be too late… agh this makes me cringe x

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  3. Oh God… I’ve recently (since December-ish) had issues with a dodgy tummy and it always seems to fall on a Monday (session day). I’ve never had IBS and I’ve always very varying degrees of nerves and never had to excuse myself to the loo before. But it’s happening a lot now. I don’t know if it’s somatic or genuinely IBS type thing flaring because of my illness. But our bodies do react to how we are feeling so maybe it’s trying to tell you something.
    I see from your other comments that it was quite a heavy session tonight, I hope you get a good sleep and feel better in the morning.

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    1. It’s awful isn’t it! For me I am pretty sure its somatic because its a bit of a coincidence it has happened on therapy day the last few times – I also realised last night that I had bitten all my nails off (really badly!). It was, will write it up in a minute actually x

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      1. Ohh, I get what you mean. I pick my nails and pluck my hair. If you find mindfulness meditation helpful, you can try practicing it before session. I do and it helps a little. A little only though lol 🙂

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      2. It’s a regular thing for me. Almost every session. Starts the day before sometimes. I plan around it like eating light food a few hours before session so I have some nourishment, else I’d literally have not eaten for like 36 hours. After session I often have no appetite too so I make myself eat hearty soup or a sandwich else it’s even more than 36 hours no food. I will be weak and wilting but super not hungry. The appetite loss and anxious nausea is…so, so…frustrating.

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      3. Yep, she knows. 🙂 It’s definitely nerves regarding the work she and me are doing. Fear of vulnerability like we survivors know all too well! I usually walk in anxious so we do some deep breathing and relaxation/grounding at session start if I struggle to settle down. If she feels I’m going to leave dysregulated or spacey, we do grounding exercises as she closes the session and I walk around after session to ground further.

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